Summary: Probation sucks.
Genre: I dunno (little help?)
Pairing: The Joker/Desdemona but Batman and Alfred show up!
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: I don't believe anyone owns the Joker. Joker for all! But I bet DC comics and Warner Bros. might disagree.
Author Notes: Not spoiler-y at all, but a little adult. Mild violence. Comment are teh awesome!
Desi stirred in the bed. Even before she opened her eyes, she heard him somewhere in the loft. She didn't, however, hear anyone else. Oh my God she thought, actual alone time with him. Positively giddy, she scrambled out of bed and to her feet. Working hard to gain her composure, she brushed her hair and washed her face, doing one good stretch before walking out to see him.
He was sitting on the couch disassembling a gun, his coat draped over the back. He looked great. Desi stopped at the bedroom entrance confident in her frilly underthings. "Well well," she purred, "The hardest working man in anarchy."
Joker looked up momentarily. "That's a different look for you." He said. Desi admired herself grinningly and replied, "Do you like it?" He tapped on another large suit box sitting beside him. Desi hopped and came over and sat on the couch, the box between them. Excited, she pulled the top off the box and sifted through the tissue, uncovering quite possibly the homeliest muumuu ever made. It was gray, loose fitting, and itchy to the touch. Desi swallowed hard. "What is this?" she asked.
The Joker slowly turned to face her, for the first time his attention on her. "Probation!" He exclaimed. Desi's eyes went wide. "I have to wear this?" she asked, "Like...around?" The Joker, now thoroughly pleased with himself, returned to his gun. "When I allow you to."
Desi stammered, "Well I can't very well work in this." His gun now in many pieces on the table, the Joker stood, rolling his cuffs to the elbow. "Oh, you won't be working." he said, reveling in her stunned silence. "You need more instruction." he said, "I'll have to show you."
Utterly defeated, Desi stood with the dress. "I should get dressed then." The Joker wagged a finger at her in protest. "No, I quite like you like...this" He said, waving the finger up an down her form. "Besides," he began, walking past her and to a large canvas bag, "the boys will be here soon, so I need you to make dinner."
Desi bit her lip, wondering what to do. She turned to face him, and forcing a smile, asked, "Well, is there anything I can do for you, you know, before they get here." The Joker turned to her, and as the smile appeared on her face, he swaggered over to her chuckling softly to himself.
"Yeah." He whispered, grabbing her hands and placing them on his hips. "Yes?" Desi asked, her excitement obvious. The Joker threw his head to one side, bringing it right near her right ear before whispering, "There are dishes." He pulled back, pointing with his head toward the sink.
Across town, Jim Gordon sat on the roof sipping a cup of coffee. He looked at the destroyed bat signal, and wished he had a cell phone number, or a direct line, or anything. Luckily for him, Batman usually stopped by during his rounds. Stepping out of the darkness, Batman commented, "The poisonings, how many are there now?"
Gordon cleared his throat, "Thirty-four." he responded, "Its getting worse, much worse." Batman took a step toward him, "A friend warned me it would get worse before it got better."
Gordon scoffed, "I thought I had a handle on this job. Now I'm the commissioner and I don't know what to do. I mean, the girl that was collared today? Twenty-four maybe and completely devoted to that crazy bastard. I sat across the table from her, and..." he sighed, "What do so many people stay here?"
Batman replied, "Because its their home, and its worth fighting for." Batman turned to look out over the same scene that Gordon was, "This girl," he started, "do you have anything on her?" Gordon looked down at his cup of coffee. "Yeah, we booked her, so we have fingerprints. She didn't have any priors, but she was a city employee. Its all in her file."
"Is that file in your office?" Batman inquired. Gordon shifted. "Don't get up, I'll take care of it. You take the strong leads, I'll do the grunt work." Batman said. Gordon dumped the remainder of his coffee off the side of the building. "I'm going home to my wife and kids. You be careful out there." He said into the darkness.
"Jim, you're a good Commissioner. Don't lose hope." The darkness replied.
Bruce sat in the incandescent light reading from the stolen file, which was basically a civic achievement folder with a newly typed arrest record laying on top. After a long silence, Bruce announced, "I just don't get it Alfred."
"What's to get?" Alfred responded, while cleaning weapons. "How a girl like her winds up with a man like him?"
"Exactly." Bruce responds.
"Why do all good girls want bad guys?" Alfred asked, "Maybe she loves him." Bruce immediately made a confused face. "You think people like this are capable of love?"
Alfred stood continuing to clean and put away each piece, "You're confusing love. Not everyone is going to court hoping for a white wedding and a home life. Some people just want somebody to cling to while the ship is sinking. Besides, I never said he loved her back." Bruce sighed. "How could anybody love a man like that?" He asked.
Alfred wiped his hands on his polishing cloth and walked over, "The same way Rachel loved you despite, well, all of this." Bruce shot back a hurt look, to which Alfred replied knowingly, "It isn't your differences that are going to help you now, Master Wayne, its your similarities."
Bruce leaned back in his chair, mildly sickened at the idea of their similarities. Alfred looked over his shoulder at the mug shots of a fresh faced twenty-something with jet black hair and bright green eyes. Tapping on it, he continued, "This isn't a hardened criminal. It's a child, disappearing at the hands of a skilled manipulator. You have the opportunity, Master Wayne. You can do more than apprehend this girl. You could save her."
Night fell on what must've been the worst Wednesday of Desi's life. She didn't mind so much the cleaning, in fact there was something about scrubbing the floor in her underwear while the Joker sipped his drink and pretended to not be watching her that really turned her on. This all lost its charm when the crowd of lecherous criminals arrived and she was expected to serve them all dinner without getting dressed. Many averted their eyes, unsure of why they were being catered to by a nearly naked woman, but they certainly weren't going to talk about his woman. Not in his presence anyway.
As she cleared the plates, one even gave her a light slap on the ass, which the Joker interrupted abruptly. "Let's not misunderstand," He announced, brandishing one of his many knives, "she is here for entertainment only. Keep your hands to yourselves." He swept the crowd with the blade as Desi made her way to the kitchen. One more soft spoken criminals followed her, going to retrieve a soda.
"Hey, you all right?" he asked low, opening the small fridge. "Yeah, I'm swell. I am serving casserole to felons in $200 worth of Dolce V lingerie." she spat, "Best day of my life." Joker looked up as Desi leaned against the stove, "Did you say something?" he inquired.
"No, sir, nothing." She replied, shaking her head. "Good." He smiled, waving her over. "All done?" he asked as she approached. "Yes, and if you don't mind, I'd really like to go and take a -" She began.
"Wonderful, wasn't it boys?" He interrupted. The boys all agreed. He turned to her and privately commented, "We boys are gonna talk some business now." Desi stared, stunned. "I was thinking you could, maybe..." he trailed away smugly, examining his hands, "you know, make mine look like yours."
Desi stammered, "You, uh...you want me to do your nails." She said, as if to convince herself. "While you plan...a heist with them." The Joker sat expressionless, licking his lips before replying, "Was I unclear?" Desi's eyes grew wide and she stood upright quickly. "No sir." she said, "I'll go get my stuff." Completely defeated, she walked into the bedroom.
She wasn't even in the room as she sat on her knees on the floor, slowly filing his nails. Each stroke over the nail sent her further away. Each time she heard the crowd noise rise she filled with the worry that it would never again apply to her. He hadn't even looked at her in an hour. How like the sun he could be, so warm when shining on you, yet so cold when turned away. As she finished the first hand, and began massaging oil over his hands, she tried to remind herself that it had only been one day. One awful day. At that soon it would be over.
She stood to walk around to the other hand, and he grabbed her forearm, halting her. Momentarily turning from the gang he looked up at her and said quietly, "Go get dressed." She nodded thankfully and went to the bedroom, retrieving the hideous tent-like dress and quickly throwing it over herself. It was immediately uncomfortable, but she barely noticed it. She was so grateful to be wearing clothes that she happily returned to her knees to begin his other hand.
Amazingly, the boys finished their session and began filing out of the building. Desi went to turn down the bed, and met him at the entrance of the bedroom. She accepted each item as he removed them, each time looking for the slightest look from him. She went to the closet to hang each piece up, calming herself to the idea that she was at least heading to bed with him.
Leaving the closet, she found him already in bed. Her pillow and a small blanket were on the floor beside the bed. Desi's heart sank, a feeling a despair taking her over. She dropped to the floor, trying to keep her voice from breaking as she said "Good night then."
There was no reply.
The next morning, Desi stood in the market like normal people. To her horror, she even saw a lady in a dress not unlike her 'punishment' dress. She looked around at all these people comparing prices and consulting lists and it was like they weren't even human. Desi thought she might vomit. While in line to check out, she stood behind a lady that had a coupon for every item in her buggy. Desi wanted to kill her. Maybe everyone in the store. She smiled at the thought of it. Yeah she thought, Maybe burn it down too.
She walked home slowly, looking at each person who passed her. She wanted to kill them all. She wanted to end their normalcy. To deliver them from the perfect misery that they didn't even know they were living. She wanted no one to escape. She chuckled to herself. Well, almost no one. She thought.
When she arrived at home, no one was there. She sighed and began putting groceries away. She cleaned the entire loft without thinking of it. She even began maybe to feel normal as she cleaned and pressed his suits. However, after hours of waiting, Desi began to worry. She walked around the spotless loft trying not to imagine the worst. She remembered the guys just yesterday mentioning the Batman. Just as her worries reached a fever pitch, the door flew open and in poured a group of criminals, the Joker valiantly following.
Desi stood speechless as she watched them enter. Tears fought their way down her face and as she made eye contact with Joker she went immediately for the bedroom. The crowd went quiet, and Joker turned to them and said jovially, "Pardon me boys, gotta go handle the missus." He said, laughing as he walked slowly to the bedroom.
As he entered the room, Desi stood by the bed. She was trying desperately to stop tears from falling down her face. She turned away, not wanting him to see her. "I'll be right out to take..care of.." She started, between gasps of air. Joker picked her pillow and blanket up from the floor and laid them back on the bed. He then motioned for her to sit.
"You know," He said as he paced about in front her, "when I asked you to kill a guy, you didn't cry." Desi nodded, nearly hysterical, trying to speak through her tears. All she could muster was, "I'm sorry."
"And before, when I had a knife to your neck? Nothing." The Joker continued, "Why now?" He leaned in, curious for her answer. Desi took a deep breath and replied, "I didn't get to go to the party."
The Joker looked around and then began laughing, "Is that all?" He asked, very amused by her answer. He cocked his head, anxious for her next response. Desi wiped her eyes and took another deep breath.
"I can't do this." she said, "Normal living. I can't just go to the store and cook dinner and..." She trailed away, looking for a way to express herself. "If I know that the excitement is coming, I can do the grunt work. But the not knowing, I feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin." She looked to him for assurance, but his expression was puzzled.
"Look." she started again, "I am...so very sorry I screwed up. I promise I'll never do it again. I'll do anything you want. Anything, I swear just. Tell me." She pleaded with him, "Tell me I'm gonna get to go out again. Tell me you're gonna touch me again. Tell me I'm gonna get to take this god awful dress off someday!" She began to maniacally tug at the dress, then fell silent.
The Joker looked at her, studying her expression for a long time. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye, instead drawing up her legs and fidgeting with her feet. He walked toward her and without saying anything pulled the dress over her head and off her body. As her hair fell around her shoulders, her looked down at her.
"I think you learned your lesson, but we'll find out for sure tomorrow, hmm?" The Joker said, pulling the blanket up for Desi. Desi laid down on the pillow, and as the blanket fell over her asked, "What's tomorrow?"
The Joker dropped the dress onto the floor and replied as he turned off the light, "Tomorrow I show you what's in the basement."
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