Genre: I dunno (little help?)
Pairing: The Joker/Desdemona
Disclaimer: I don't believe anyone owns the Joker. Joker for all! But I bet DC comics and Warner Bros. might disagree.
Author Notes: Not spoiler-y at all, but a little adult. This one's pretty violent. Comment are teh awesome!
Desi watched nervously, spining her cup of coffee around the kitchen counter as she watched him. The Joker sat at the table, his upper body hidden behind a large scetchbook. He hummed softly to himself, occasionally reaching out to collect his cup or to return it. Desi bit her lip, anxious for his response.
After what seemed like forever, he tilted down the scetchbook, and looked across at her. He then jumped up and with incredible enthusiasm rounded the table. "It's just..." he started, extending his hands out to her, shaking them back and forth, "it's wonderful." Desi bounced at the review, thrilled with his response.
"I can't wait to do it!" He exclaimed. The Joker turned away from her and returned his attention to the book. Desi stopped short, a confused look on her face. "You want to do it?" she asked, part confused and part honored. "Of course." he replied, licking his lips, "This plan is amazing. You make Papa so proud."
Desi smiled big, then looked down, kneeding little circles into the floor with her feet. "I can come too...right?" Joker looked up at her, "Yes." he said, nodding as he walked toward her. "I need a girl on the inside." He ran his hand through her hair, and Desi began to hop merrily around the kitchen.
"We're gonna need a crew." The Joker said, returning to task. Desi stopped hopping and caught her breath giggling. "Yep." she added, "Want me to arrange that?" The Joker clicked his tongue while looking over the plans, "No, I'll do it." Looking up, he ordered, "You need to go to bed. Someone is going to need their beauty rest if they plan on crashing the Miss Gotham pageant."
Desi smiled sheepishly, "Yes sir." She began walking toward the bedroom slowly, keeping her eyes on him as long as she could. "I'll wake you whe the boys arrive." He called out as she walked away.
Sleep came, but not easily to Desi. She spread flat across the bed, letting the cool of the sheets comfort her, but she was plagued with worry. What if I screw up again? she wondered, Would he forgive me? What might the punishment be? Desi grabbed his pillow and held it over her face, trying instead to focus on his demeanor that morning. She ran her hands down her body and reaching the inside of her thighs, dug her nails in. Drawing her hands up as she scratched, she whispered, "Worthless, empty, less...than...nothing."
A rough hand gently shook her awake in the darkness. Her eyes still closed, Desi took the hand in hers and began the playfully bite the thumb. "Hmmm...hello." She moaned, opening her eyey to look up at the strange man standing above her. Her eyes snapped open as she spat his hand from her mouth. Covering herself, she inquired, "Who are you?"
The thief loomed over dumbly, "The boss said I should wake you." Desi sat up, throwing her black hair over her shoulder. "And you have." she replied, "Thank you." He left and she stood to dress, hearing howls of an amused psychopath echo from the next room. Walking to the door, she looked on as he continued to laugh. The room had about ten new men in it. She had not seen any of them before. She found herself wondering how many of the previous men were still alive.
"Desdemona here has etched out a top notch plan for us." The Joker announced, "So let's all give her our attention." He walked around the crowd, ensuring they were listening. Desi shifted, realizing she was now the focus of a room full of career criminals. She didn't relish being the center of attention, and would rather be among the crowd or in bed at the strong, powerful hands of her sexual....
The Joker snapped his fingers a few times, displeying his impatience. Desi swallowed, and started. "Ok, so in the vein of being a greater perponent of chaos, I have drawn up plans to disfigure the newly crowned Miss Gotham." Desi clasped her hands behind her nd looked among the men.
"Why?" asked one of the men. The Joker pointed to him and turned his eye to Desi, awaiting explaination. Desi cleared her throat, mildly annoyed with explaining herself to a group of thugs. "Well, for one, it's torture." Desi said with a laugh, "Who doesn't love a bit of that?"
The crowd fell silent, except for the Joker who raised his hand while looking around. Seeing that he was alone, he shrugged, dropping it. Desi smiled knowingly at him. "More to the point I guess is that Miss Gotham is a symbol. She represents perfection, or the illusion of the best Gotham has to offer."
She cut an eye to the Joker, who sat backwards in his chair, facing her. "Cutting the pretty off of that face would hurt her worse than if we killed her."
"Exactly." The Joker said, taking over as he stood. Her arms still behind her, she walked past him and sat in his chair. The crowd shifted about, absorbing the concept. "What about the girl?" another of the men asked.
The Joker squinted one eye momentarily before aswering, "The girl is incidental." He raised a single finger, "It's the fear." he added, waving the finger about. Desi straddled the chair, hugging the back. After a brief silence, she cleared her throat. "So boys," she asked, "How do we do it?"
The plan was shear genius. Desi was going to stand in for the costume mistress, who was going to have some trouble making it to the ampitheater. She would then simply let the Joker and his crew in after dispatching the single guard at the stage door. The crew would then move into the audience, keeping everyone in their seats for the main event, when the Joker would take the stage and take care of the beauty queen.
Desi walked around the small apartment looking at the knick knacks and pictures. It looked like her old place, and Desi immediately disliked it. Across from her sat the resident of the apartment, gagged and tied to the chair crying. Desi cut an eye to her, narrowing them as she commented. "Why the tears, hmm?" she asked solemnly.
The girl sat silent. Desi nodded understandingly. "Relax, I'm not gonna kill ya." she laughed. The girl closed her eyes thankfully, sighing to herself. "I just need the lamenants and keys for the pageant, that's all." Desi assured her, "Soon as I get those, I'm outta here."
The girl nooded toward the dresser with her head. Desi walked to it, and it the second drawer was a bundle containing her materials and keys. Lifting it, she asked, "Is this everything?" The girl nodded quickly. Desi straightened, "Okay!" she said excitedly. "That's me then. Thank you..." she said, looking at the paperwork, "Tiffany."
Looking to the boys, Desi instructed, "She's all yours boys, have fun with her." The girls eyes grew wide as Desi left and the men encircled her. Desi walked along the street, reached the corner and gave a knowing wave to the Joker's men watching from the adjacet building.
"Looks like she's solid." one henchman said as Desi flagged a cab and climbed inside. As she disappeared from sight, the men with him continued dressing in the police uniforms they had stolen that morning. Close inspection would show them to be lacking nametage and badge numbers. Luckily, few looked that hard.
The Joker walked among them as if gearing up for the homecoming game. He said nothing, his mind quietly working five moves ahead of the game. When the boys finished, they headed to the van they had to arrive at the ampitheater.
Desi arrived breathless at the back door of the theater, pinning the tags to her clothing. "You're late." The guard grumbled. Desi leaned in, placing a hand on his forearm. "I know," she said breathless, "my girlfriend had this party last night and I stayed up way too late. Oh my god, have you ever played 'beer pong?' It's like the most fun ever."
The guard made a face and opened the door. "Listen, thank you." Desi said sweetly, "I'll come back and bring you a soda, ok?" She turned and entered the room, which was a blur of Aquanet and chiffon. A thin and annoying ly effiminate man stormed up and demanded, "Where have you been?" He looked at her name tag, "Tiffany."
Desi rolled her eyes, "Sorry, my morning has been unbelievable." The man scoffed, "Well, you'll pardon me if I'm not interested. Let's get to work, these girls are not going to squeeze into these dresses all by themselves."
Desi dressed all the ladies, waiting patiently for the final event. As the swimsuit event drew to a close, she retrieved the soda, and adding from the small vial of cyanide, took it to the guard. She offered to the guard smiling, and thought to herself, This might bother me if the weren't so damned easy to kill.
With everyone watching the show on the stage, it was easy to open the door and let the henchmen pull the dying guard outside and replace him. As the imposter cops quietly filed in, Desi dashed back to get the final gowns ready, humming to herself.
The audience sat patiently, unaware of the conflict slowly building backstage. Bruce Wayne sighed and looked at his watch. He hated these events, and nightfall was soon. He turned, giving his date a reassuring smile and shifted in his seat, his mind wandering to all the destruction going on in Gotham the past few weeks.
The house lights turned down as the police began to change guards. Finalists began to walk confidently onstage, forming a garrish line of sequin glow. She girls clutched each others hands and the master of ceremonies opened hie envelopes. Girls stepped back until there were only two.
Desi looked to the door as the Joker emerged from it, looking more coiffed than usual. She snickered, covering her mouth as he walk by her and to the stage. The stage manager started toward him, only for Desi to stop him with one finger to his chest. "I wouldn't do that." she assure him, "I really wouldn't."
The crowd went wild as the new Miss Gotham was announced. She stepped confidently forward and knelt as the crown was placed atop her head. But before she could walk the runway she was interrupted as the Joker stepped, appluading, onto the stage.
"Ladies and Gentleman!" Joker announced, "Welcolme to the real show!" He crossed the stage toward the beauty queen as a lady from the audience screamed. Desi watched from the curtains, just lighting up as the joker grabbed the newest Miss Gotham.
Bruce looked around the auditorium, realizing the cops were with the Joker. He noted all the exits covered, and stood, making his way down the aisle. "Bruce!" his date called after him, but he disappeared into the group of now panicked patrons.
Joker held the woman close to him, noting her difficulty even breathing from fear. He leaned in to speak to her, turning her to stage right. "See that girl right over there?" he said, turning her face as Desi gave a little wave. "Well, she told me that you girls had no sense of humor." he added laughing, "It that true?"
The beauty queen looked up at him, frightened beyond words. After recieving no reply, Joker turned to the panicked audience. "What do you think, ladies and gentleman?" he shouted above the crowd, "Let's leave her in stiches."
Bruce looked around for a path backstage. With every exit guarded, he made his way to the front through the crowd, now standing and frantically moving around. He looked to the stage as the Joker turned to the girl and placed a knife in her mouth.
Desi sqealed as he brought the knife to her mouth, licked his lips, and watched her reaction. She looked at him, terrified as tears streamed down her cheeks. After enjoying her reaction as well as the hush that had fallen over the crowd, he pulled the knife across the crease of her mouth as he held the back of her head.
Blood poured over the stage and the beauty queen screamed, echoing through the accoustics of the theater. Desi laughed from offstage as he let her fall, her dress soaking up blood. The Joker turned to the audience throwing both hands in the air, and took a small bow as all the guards in the audience pulled out gas masks.
Putting them on, they pulled tear gas and set them off in the audience. Bruce took advantage of the ruckus and attacked the guard nearest the stage door. Knocking him out, he ran through the stage door and up the stairs backstage.
He arrived just in time to see the Joker and his backstage crew leaving. Desi turned back, and seeing Bruce look up from tending to the disfigured young woman, winked and blew him a confident kiss before pulling the door behind her. Bruce ran to it, but found it chained from the outside. Fishing his cell phone from his pocket, he called Alfred.
"Over already, Master Wayne?" Alfred asked, closing his book. "Alfred, listen to me." Bruce started, "Is there a police van or anything like that leaving?" Alfred looked around, "Yes sir."
"Follow it Alfred, I'm trapped in here." Bruce said, "And Alfred, be careful. Call me as soon as you know anything." Closing the phone, Bruce returned to the girl on stage. Collecting her up, he carried her off stage and to her dressing room to address her wounds.
From outside he could hear the police arrive and begin evacuating the auditorium. He pulled his phone and texted Gordon to alert him about the girl back stage, and then looked over her. She had lost consiousness and was in some sort of shock.
Gordon recieved the text and made his way backstage, but when he reached the dressing room, the girl was alone. Above her, an open window let in the breeze.
The Joker and his crew drove away triumphant, Desi resting her head in the Joker's lap. She had never been happier in her entire life. He let her lay there, but didn't touch her. He instead let his mind wander, processing both the action and its expected aftermath. She looked up at him as he sat pondering, in awe of him.
Nobody noticed the Bentley a block behind them, which parked quietly and waited as they switched vehicles nd dropped off small groups of thugs. As they made the final switch, Bruce called Alfred. "I made it out." Bruce told him, "Are you still tailing them?"
Alfred looked on, "Yes, sir. I believe this may be their last stop." Bruce stepped into the elevator of his penthouse. "Good. Text me the address of wherever they stop, and be careful." He slammed his phone closed and inserted his key, pressing the top floor.
Only Desi and the Joker remained, and as they appraoched the car, the Jokergrabbed her around her stomach. Pulling her against him, he asked, "You wanna drive tonight?" Desi squealed, and replied, "Can I?" From above her face, Joker began dangling the keys.
Desi's shoulders slumped, "Oh. Drive. Yeah." she said bemusedly, taking the keys as he laughed. As she got into the driver's seat, Joker climbed into the back. "Once more around the park." He ordered laughingly. Desi chuckled, "Cocktease." she sighed, turning the engine over.
Once they reached the loft, the Joker marched in, throwing his coat over the couch. He turned back to Desi and asked, "What's for dinner?" She walked toward the kichen, opening the small fridge and finding nothing but drinks. "Hmm." she said, "Guess I gotta go shopping." she said, turning around. "You go ahead and take your shower, and I'll run out and pick up something." The Joker followed her to the bedroom, and continued to the bathroom as she grabbed her trechcoat.
As the water turned on, she headed out to the market. She walked along these streets as if a barrier stood between her and everyone else. She feared no one, and felt completely in control of her situation. Even the market seemed a far cry from just a few days before. Everyone seemed to avert their eyes, as if they knew she wasn't one of them. She picked out two large steaks, potatoes for baking, and all the trimmings. She even bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate the occasion.
She paid for everything and began walking while planning out to events of the rest of the night. She traced the steps back as her mind wandered. She turned the last corner and ran right into someone, dropping her bags.
Bending to pick them up, she looked up to apologize. When she did, she looked up to find Batman.
Desi gasped, clutching her chest and falling back. He towered over her, saying nothing. After a moment, Desi looked about confused, "I thought you were a good guy." she said, annoyed, "I guess chivalry really is dead."
"You and I have something to discuss." he whispered through clenched teeth. Desi grew nervous, "I don't think so." she replied, brushing herself off as she stood. "Then we're going to have to do this the hard way." Batman responded, throwing his cape over her as he grabbed her.
Then, quick as a flash, all that was left on the street were the groceries.
Only one part to go! 22,212 words so far!
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