Summary: A card game and other serious stuff.
Genre: AU OC
Pairing: Desdemona/Johnathan Crane
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd be too busy fucking to write my name...
Author Notes: I am overwealmed at the response to my previous work, thank you!
Laughter filled the room as the cards flew across the table to each player. "I swear! I swear to God." Desi said, pointing to the Joker, "This fucking guy. We're standing on the bus, there's Batman, and what does he do?" Desi pounds the table, almost choking on her laughter.
The Joker shrugged, looking at his cards. "What can I say, the Bat needs to examine his priorities." Everyone at the table laughed except Crane, who held his cards and looked at each of them, a queer expression of his face. Two- Face cleared his throat, "So it's one-eyed Jacks and Suicide Kings wild?"
"As long as it isn't Jokers, we'd all be in trouble." Desi commented. The Joker looked around innocently, "I don't know what you're talking about." he said with a laugh. Desi placed two cards on the table and received new ones from the dealer. The Joker kept all his cards and Two-Face folded.
"Poor Harv," chuckled the Joker, "two faces and neither can bluff." Two-Face shot him a look, while Crane placed a single card on the table and received its replacement. Desi examined her cards, frowning. She eyed the Joker, whose grin wasn't very telling and she looked at Crane, who studied his cards silently.
"I bet $5,000.00" Desi said, lighting her cigar and slowly rotating it as she puffed. She threw a stack of bills into the center of the table. The Joker grinned, "I raise you $15,000.00" he announced, throwing a bag of blood specked money onto the table.
Crane opened his billfold, "I call." he said calmly. He laid a pile of crisp, clean bills onto the table. Desi puffed on her cigar tentatively. "Hey, this girl has expenses. I fold." She said, throwing her cards onto the table. Joker looked at Crane for several minutes before he asked, "So, are you enjoying our girl here?" patting Desi on the wrist.
Crane added another five grand to the pile, "Nightly." he replied, and Desi grinned, turning her eyes to the Joker. His smile faded and he threw his cards onto the table. "Fold." He replied, and both Desi and Two-face looked at each other. Desi leaned over the table, excited. "Let's see 'em." she exclaimed. Crane turned his cards over onto the table.
Everyone stared in awe. The Joker stammered, "Two...pair? That's it." Two-face laughed and Desi chomped on her cigar utterly satisfied as Crane collected his winnings. Desi leaned back, "Whoa, what a bluff! Somebody's getting head tonight." she said laughingly. Crane blushed mildly, looking at the table. Two-face replied, "I think you embarrassed him." Desi looked around, "Him? I meant me." she said, winking at him.
"Darling." Crane said smugly, "I have to work. You can stay if you like." Desi nodded, removing her cigar, "No, we should go." Desi stood and grabbed her coat. Joker looked between them, "I see how it is: take all my money, then run out and leave me with the cripple." He gestured across the table as the door opened and Harley Quinn arrived.
"Well, that's my cue." Desi said, following Crane to the door, "We're working tomorrow, right?" she called. Joker nodded excitedly, "Gotham National, 8AM." Desi ducked out the door and left. "Wow, that was some poker face." she said as they left, "What are you gonna do with all that money?" Desi leaned into him flirtatiously as they walked.
"Supplies most likely." he replied as they reached the car. They climbed in and he continued, "We need to look at a more long term residence. The Plaza is nice, but expensive and it only a matter of time before the police or Batman find you out." Desi bit the inside of her cheek and nodded understandingly.
As he drove quietly away from the abandoned amusement park, Desi turned in her seat and bounced. "So, you gonna let me go to work with you tonight?" she asked, biting her thumb. He looked over at her, smirking. "I don't think so tonight." he replied. Desi deflated, going limp across the seat. "Really, I won't mess anything up. I'm good at what I do, what we do. You can trust me." she insisted.
"You need your rest, you have a big heist tomorrow." He argued, watching the road. Desi pulled her legs up to the seat. She slipped her shoes off, resting her feet in his lap as he drove. "Yeah, you're right." She leaned her head against the window, watching the street lights flash by and fade away. "This heist goes well and it can change everything." she said, tracing the path of light with her fingers. "We can do whatever we want."
The next morning, Desi stood in the garage looking at her weaponized wardrobe. She removed her coat and began layering each piece onto her body. "You know, sometimes..." she commented, "I'd rather be shot that lug all this around." Joker continued his routine, "Bitch, bitch, bitch." he replied. Desi finished her layering and slipped her trench over all of it.
"Why all the artillery? Its a bank." Desi asked, slipping a gun into her garter. Joker looked her over, "The police are stepping it up. They'll be waiting for news of a robbery." He walked along, turning his plan over in his mind. "Then there's Batsy." Desi strapped her heels and stood, following him out to the waiting police car.
"A police car?" Desi wickedly exclaimed. The Joker turned coolly of his heels, "I love this job." They climbed in and made their way to the bank. Pulling along the alley beside the bank, The Joker and Desi skipped merrily into the bank. They walked into the revolving doors, then immediately turned and locked them. They looked around the room, taking stock of the room. They looked at each other, smiled wide, and then separated.
Desi jumped the counter, climbing over the window and hopping down to control the tellers and make her way to the vault. "Good morning, everyone." he shouted, relishing every panicked scream and terrified face. "You are all now part of the big plan! My friend and I are here to liberate you from the burden of your sanity. Failing that, perhaps your lives." He walked among them, looking for just that someone.
Desi hit the back office and found the bank manager, busy calling the police. Seeing her, he slammed the phone down and backed away from the desk. She entered the room, and ripped the phone cord from the wall, waving a disapproving finger at him. "Shame on you, interrupting the fun." She said, firing a shot into the air for emphasis. She sat on the desk, leaning across to grab his tie. "What's the combination to the vault." She demanded, putting the gun to his knee.
He led her to the vault, putting in the combination as he spoke. "You'll never have time to make it out with anything. The police are on their way." Desi tapped in on the back of the head with the gun, "Why don't you let me handle the heist and you handle not getting yourself shot, hmm?" she replied. The banker finished the combination, turning the handle and opening the vault.
"You think you're pretty scary with that gun, don't you?" the banker asked, "Girlie, I was in Vietnam. It takes more that a bully like you to scare me." Desi grabbed him, shoving him into the nearby closet, "Girlie?" she yelled, reaching into her trench coat. "Let's see what scares you, huh." She responded, loading up and spraying him right in the face with Scarecrow's fear toxin. She watched as he went pale and wide eyed.
She left him in the closet, cowered in the corner, crying to himself in unintelligible English. "Ok, we're ready!" she yelled as she unlocked the door to the employee's area. The Joker rounded the mass of people up. "Now, if you want to live, you are now going to take part in this, as my help." He gestured over to Desi, who made a small curtsy, "The lovely Desdemona here will lead you to the vault, and make no mistake, she'll kill you just as quickly as I would."
Desi walked briskly over to the Joker. "You better go get ready, that asshole banker called the cops." she commented. Joker nodded to her, "Where is he?" he asked. "Oh, I took care of him." she replied, "You better go." Desi led the crowd to the vault, handing them all large sacks.
"You will fill these bags with cash." she instructed, "Then you will walk out the back exit and place it in the awaiting police car's trunk. If you complete this task, you may then leave. If you try anything else," Desi continued, speaking slowly and clearly, "There will be a nice photo of you on the news tonight. Understand?"
the crowd began grabbing bags and headed to the vault, anxious to get out of the situation. Desi scanned the front of the bank, finding no one. Even the Joker had vanished. She skipped along, checking under counters and behind chairs. Just then, the glass blew out of the revolving door and Batman appeared. Desi whistled, getting his attention before throwing a grenade over his head. It went off just past him, blowing him a step forward.
"You know, I may have been wrong when I said the whole 'bat' thing was a turn off, murderer." Desi said, approaching him. "I had no idea you had a thing like that in you, just letting me die like that." Batman took a step toward her, "I didn't know that was going to happen." he said, "That's no excuse for this madness."
Desi wagged her eyebrows at him dismissively, "Madness is the reason. It's the reason the greatest man I've ever know is a cold blooded killer." She approached him slowly, "It's the reason you dress up as a bat. It's the reason you and he are so very similar."
Batman looked around, "Where is the Joker?" he seethed. Desi threw her hands in the air, pacing around. "Why is it you assume he's here?" she demanded. "Can I not do anything by myself?" Desi made a fist and punched Batman, who took a surprising step back. Desi grinned, "You like them? Look like regular gloves, but these pack a real punch." She went to punch him again, only Batman blocked her, punching her squarely in the chest.
Desi flew back, landing in a ball on the ground. She drew her hands in, gasping twice before sobbing loudly. Batman stood there as Desi clutched her chest with one hand. She continued to cry, and Batman walked to her to help her up. He leaned over her, and Desi pulled the gun from her garter, firing right at his chest. Batman fell backwards as Desi stood, kneading her chest. "Even through armor, that was smarts." Desi admitted, emptying the clip into his torso as he lay there.
Batman took a deep but broken breath as Desi ran to the back. "A word of advice..." Desi yelled to him, "girls fight dirty." She reached the back of the building where the Joker stood. He was dressed as a cop and his makeup had been completely removed. "Oh!" Desi exclaimed, "That is hot. I'm just saying." Joker made a face and turned Desi around, cuffing her. "The car is moved and there is a crowd, so this should be a snap." The Joker commented, "Just make a scene."
"No worries there." Desi said laughing as Joker began walking her through the bank. "Oh, and say hello to Batman!" she said as they entered the front of the bank. Batman was turned on his side, pulling himself to the side. "You didn't kill him, did you?" Joker asked, his excitement mixing with fleeting concern. Desi shook her head, "Nah, the hero always gets away. You know how it is." Joker turned to him, "See ya later, Batsy!" and pulled Desi to the door.
As they hit the door, Desi began throwing a fit. She kicked and screamed, bucking away from officer Joker as he carried her down the steps. "Let go of me! You'll never keep me in the shitbox you call a jail! Just you wait! I'll kill every one of you!" Desi screamed, as she was put it the back of the car. No one even looked at the Joker. He immediately jumped into the driver's seat and pulled away as a barrage of cop cars pulled in front of the bank.
Desi bounced in the back seat, laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, I don't believe it!" Joker threw a glance in his rear view mirror at her, "Quite the shot you got at old Batsy." Desi brought her arms under her ass and down her legs to rest them in her lap. "Just lucky really." she said, rubbing her chest, "Sympathetic bastard. Hope I taught him a lesson."
Later that night, Desi pulled a large luggage cart into the suite. "Hi Honey." Crane said sarcastically, "How was work?" Desi looked at him, her eyes positively electric. She grabbed the bags, dumping the cash to the floor from each. Crane sat up, looking at the take. "This is your share." he asked unbelievably. Desi nodded mischievously. "Twenty million dollars." She replied seriously. "I wanna strip naked and rub it all over me." She ran her hands over the stacks, looking up at him. "Can we fuck on them, maybe?"
Crane gave her a disapproving look. "Oh, and you'll be proud to know that the Bank president felt the full extent of your wrath today." Desi said, beaming. Crane stuck his pencil into the spiral of his pad and leaned in. "What do you mean?"
Desi squealed excitedly, "Well you can't tell J, cause you know how he can be, but I gassed the bastard." Desi's eyes went wide, "The things he had to say, my stars." She shook her head. Crane looked on excitedly, and as Desi noticed she replied, "I'll tell you over dinner. You're gonna love it."
Crane set his pad down and sat on the floor across from her. "We can't leave this here. It needs to be in a safe place." he said calmly. Desi clutched two bundles of the cash but nodded to him. "Ok, but I'm keeping a million." she said excitedly, "Pocket money. You take one too, for your project." She smiled at him, and he rubbed her cheek softly. She lay back on the floor, still clutching her stacks of cash to her chest. Crane began neatly arranging the money, placing it back into the bags and stacking the bags up. "I'll take care of this, ok? Why don't you go take a bath and relax."
Desi closed her eyes, now smelling the cash. "Ok." she replied, "Bring back dinner, ok?" Crane nodded and pulled the cart to the door. "Desi?" he called. Desi sat up and turned to him, listening. "Don't make plans for tomorrow, ok? I have a...surprise for you." Desi made an excited face and clapped silently in celebration as he left the room.
Alfred looked on as Bruce painfully removed the now ruined suit. "I thought that bloody thing was bulletproof." he remarked. Bruce grimaced, "Now when the person is three feet from you, Alfred." He looked at the abrasion and bruising on his chest. "I'm lucking it stopped it at all." He said, as Alfred brought him the dressing for his wounds.
He washed his hands and toweled them off. "She's not some mixed up kid, Alfred." Bruce said somberly, "She's as much criminal as the rest of them." Alfred prepared his shirt and looked on as he bandaged the wound. "I hesitated because she's a woman, and that was foolish." Bruce said sternly, "Not a mistake I'll make again."
Fearless Part One
If you're lost, check out the first story, "What a Little Moonlight Can Do"
Part One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve
...And it's sequel, "Ain't No Sunshine (When She's Gone)"
Part One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve