Summary: Boring & Sex
Genre: AU OC
Pairing: Joker/Desdemona/Johnathan Crane
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd be too busy fucking to write my name...
Author Notes: I am overwhelmed at the response to my previous work, thank you!
Desi sat in the car, restless. They had been sitting there an hour, doing nothing. "Boy, this nothing like the work that I do." she said. Crane continued to watch, "Well, I warned you." He commented. She sighed as Crane sat up, zeroing in on someone. Desi eyed the mask, tracing a finger around the stitches.
Crane grabbed his mask and climbed quietly out of the car. Desi waited for a cue, and receiving none, slipped out to follow him. They were following a young man, who was walking alone from the rail stop. Desi hung back, unsure of what they were even doing. She had several weapons on her, and was ready for anything.
His mask now on, the Scarecrow simply tapped the man. The man turned and upon seeing Scarecrow, was sprayed in the face and collapsed. Desi ran up to Scarecrow, "What did you do?" she asked. He turned to her, "Tranquilizer." he calmly responded. Desi lit up, looking at the defenseless victim.
"What can I do?" she asked. Scarecrow stepped over the body, "Nothing." he replied. Desi stomped her foot, "Come oooon!" she fussed, "Really, how can I help?" Scarecrow looked at her, blinking every few seconds. "You can grab his feet." he offered.
They loaded the man, making sure to leave nothing behind. They then loaded into the car and sped away. Desi looked back at the unconscious man, her imagination running wild. They arrived at her new home and he pulled him out, carrying his through the fence. Desi happily inserted her own key for the first time, throwing the door open to allow in her villain and his victim.
Scarecrow set him up in a high backed chair, tying his hands and feet. Desi danced around, first from excitement, then from her long suffering bladder. She dashed toward the new bathroom, flipping the light. Scarecrow continued to secure the victim.
"Oh...my...God!" Desi shrieked. Scarecrow searched above him for signs of the Batman or police. Finding none, he sighed and asked, "Desi, what is it?" Desi walked to the door elated, "What it is, is the new bathroom! I could kiss you all over!" She kissed him several times on the face happily.
Scarecrow turned both palms toward the victim, gesturing his annoyance at his interruption. Desi stepped back embarrassed. "So...what are we gonna do to him?" Desi asked maniacally. Crane removed the mask and answered, "I'm going to test formula 27, and depending on the results, I might also test marker 32."
Desi looked at him, lost. "Then what're we gonna do?" She leaned in, perching her hands on her knees, awaiting his response. Crane looked at the unconscious man. "Then I'm going to watch his reaction and take notes." Desi dropped her hands, nearly bending over.
Hanging there for a second, he pulled up to look at Crane, who was staring at her. Desi brought her tongue to the back of her front teeth. "Well, can we kill him after that at least?" she asked, exasperated. Crane's eyes trailed away, "I guess after I'm done, you can do whatever you want with him. He'll be of no use to me."
"Great!" Desi said, sighing heavily. "How long should I wait, like should I get a soda?" she asked. Crane stared at her, confused. "What?" Desi asked. Crane removed his glasses, mildly frustrated. "This is research, Desi. It takes days."
Desi all but deflated before his eyes. "Oh, I get it. I just thought, you know because of how I work." She added with a nod. Crane put an arm around her, "It's only a few days, you can make it. Think of it as foreplay." he offered, "but I do love seeing you excited. It's nice of you to have an interest in what I do."
Crane kissed her forehead and Desi smiled. "I'm just gonna, you know, leave you to it then. I'll just be in the way." Desi said, backing out of the room. "Maybe I'll head to Moroni's for a nightcap, I'm kind of tired anyway." Crane was adjusting chemicals, his back to her.
"Ok, dear." he replied absentmindedly, "Drive safe." He turned as she was walking out. "Desi." he called. Desi turned to him. "Happy birthday." he said sweetly. Desi smiled and left. She raced to the car, desperate to be away from the whole boring business.
She drove quickly, making a direct line to the old amusement park. She was frantic, thoughtless even, as she drove toward the outskirts of town. She arrived, and jumped out of the car, walking purposefully into the fun house. It was dark and seemingly empty as she made her way through it from memory.
The Joker was making a drink as she walked in unannounced. "Careful, Desdemona, we shoot intruders around here." Joker said with a laugh. Desi looked at him, determined. "Are we alone?" she asked. The Joker looked around a few times, "It would appear so." he said.
"Good." Desi said, rushing him. She kissed him hard before he pushed her away. He studied her quietly as she fought the hand keeping her at bay. Desi huffed, frustrated at his rejection. "What is it? That sidekick giving it to you so good that you're turning it down?" she spat.
The Joker gave a half-hearted chuckled, "uh...No." he replied, taking a drink, "No." Desi walked up to him a second time, running her hands through his hair. She went it for another kiss, and was again pushed away. Breathing heavily, she nearly shouted, "What kind of freak just doesn't want..."
Her sentence was cut short as Joker slapped her hard across the face, leaving it turned away from him. Desi tasted blood, and it felt as it that whole side of her face had exploded. She slowly looked back at him, who looked smugly at her.
She defiantly walked up to him, grabbing his crotch. "I know what it is. You fucked that waste of pubic hair and now you can't get it up, can you?" There was fire in her eyes, and the Joker grabbed her face in the palm of his hand, pushing her to the floor.
She laughed hatefully at him, and he descended on her. "I may never fuck you gain, and you know why?" he hissed, his face pressed to hers, "It's because you want it so badly." Desi spit blood at him, struggling against him. She laughed, "You really can't get it up, can you? You know, they make pills for that. Maybe I can get my boyfriend to write you a script."
Joker slapped her across the other side of her face, and while she was reeling, he pulled his belt off, doubled it and pressed it across Desi's neck. She started to choke, and he leaned to her ear. "You know, the truth is..." she said, licking the corners of his mouth, "you're a better lay when you're angry."
Continuing to press the belt into her neck, Desi began to touch his face as she gasped for air. Just as her eyes glazed over, he released her, and Desi gasped, coughing. Joker reached under her dress as she continued to frantically breathe.
Tearing away her underwear, Joker went for his pants, unfastening them as he felt Desi's neck. Returning the belt, he slammed into her as she gargled, choking again. Joker smiled, "That hard enough for you, hmm?" he asked, ramming into her withe relentless pace.
"Maybe, while your boyfriend is writing that script, we can ask him why I'm fucking you on the floor here." the Joker continued, "Why don't we do that?" She tightened up around him as he thrust, and he grunted at the feeling of it. He released the belt, and continued to thrust while Desi took giant, panicked breaths.
Her color returned and she began to moan at the overwhelming sensation she was feeling. The Joker lifted her by her waist, thrusting from his knees. He pulled her violently against him. Nearly blacking out, she came, as he continued to drive away at her hungrily.
He pulled her by her hips, ramming himself into her deeply as he came. His nails brushed her and he released her, letting her limp form slide to the ground. She lay there for several minutes, trying to regain the feeling in several places.
"May I ask what the Hell that was about?" the Joker inquired, standing up. Desi continued to lie on the ground on her side. She took a deep breath, holding the ground. Taking a deep breath, Desi replied, "Next time you plan on strangling a bitch, don't be a pussy." she choked out, "Go the whole nine."
She stood up, brushing herself off, "And by next time, I mean Harley Quinn." Desi grabbed her purse and rubbed her neck lightly. "Any bruises, you think?" she asked. The Joker gave a dismissive wave. Desi turned to walk to the door.
"Poker tomorrow night?" Joker asked. Desi nodded, "Thank you." and she left.
Fearless Part One Two Three
If you're lost, check out the first story, "What a Little Moonlight Can Do"
Part One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve
...And it's sequel, "Ain't No Sunshine (When She's Gone)"
Part One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve